I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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