FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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