Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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