honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
