sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
