Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The best revenge is premature balding
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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