addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize