I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
