Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
