I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
