I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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