is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
