Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
