nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
