he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
