I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize