Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
