So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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