2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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