He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
