We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
