sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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