You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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