I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
