The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
