do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
