You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
