Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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