her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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