Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
