just tell him i said nine months
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
