I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
