btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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