This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
