Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
