I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
