oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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