so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
