everyone is single if you try hard enough
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
