you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
