People in love make me want to vomit
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
