I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
