I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
