He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
