Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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