Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
