the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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