Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
