It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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