Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize