Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
