I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
