Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
