Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
