Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
