...so i touched it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
