On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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