This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
