why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
