Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize