Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
