man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
