At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
