Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
soo... how was my night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
