even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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