And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
