I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
