the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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